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  • amydspear

Secondhand news


One of THE biggest fights, my husband and I entered into, over our 45 years together, happened when I found out from ‘a friend ‘ something I should have known about, and more importantly, from my husband!! Now this news isn't scandalous, or even private really...it’s just personal.

It seems, through a rapid chain of events, my name unintentionally slipped toward the bottom on the announcement timeline, and I found myself eating someone’s leftovers! Oh, we eventually kissed and made up. But, the sting of this mishap left a big welp on my heart. To this very day, when I learn something secondhand about a family member, or close friend, (or heaven forbid, about my husband), the old wound burns a little.

Because, to my way of thinking , one of the most valuable attributes of a deep relationship is the ‘knowing’. A knowledge, not only of knowing the confidential, the personal, and the private—but the knowing that you know better, deeper, and more complexly than anyone else, and the knowing you know first...ya know??

We crave to know all the details wrapped up in the joy of the challenge, or the fear in the defeat. There is something splendid in knowing the “I can’t wait to tell ________ ” moment has your name typed boldly in the blank!

We all want to be first to receive this gift of vulnerability, intimacy, and trust.

Yet, In reality, Smartphones with access to Face Book, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat have widened the boundaries of our affinity circles to equal those of the whole wide world. Sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings to total strangers is now the norm. Everyone is your potential best friend.

In the process, strangers are brought close, while intimacy steps sideways and opens up it’s hand to add another link in the chain—and the circle expands. Sitting in community at such a large table, will find you at some point eating leftovers. Despite what Notebook, Beaches, or Grey’s Anatomy lead you to believe —no one is there for you 100 percent of the time. Not even your ‘person’.

The world changed, and how we share our time, our stories, our lives is no longer exclusive! Sometimes, honestly this big new world leaves me feeling nostalgic. I miss the process and the interaction of the knowing.

I miss relationship.

So, it’s here, I remind myself what Proverbs 18:24 says, “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother...”. This truth assures me there is a table set up, just for two, reserved with my name typed boldly in the blank.

I can sit for hours, in the confidential, the personal, and the private, with the one who knows me better, deeper, and more complexly than anyone else—sharing the details wrapped up in my joys and the fear in my defeat.

Thank you Jesus, even today, I can have every confidence in you! Thank you God that ... “You have explored my heart and know exactly who I am; You even know the small details like when I take a seat and when I stand up again. Even when I am far away, You know what I’m thinking.

You observe my wanderings and my sleeping, my waking and my dreaming, and You know everything I do in more detail than even I know. You know what I’m going to say long before I say it. It is true, Eternal One, that You know everything and everyone. You have surrounded me on every side, behind me and before me, and You have placed Your hand gently on my shoulder. It is the most amazing feeling to know how deeply You know me, inside and out; the realization of it is so great that I cannot comprehend it.” Psalms 139:1-6 [Voice]

Jesus! My only true ride or die! John 3:16!!

Blessings, as you seek a relationship with Him today! G.

Jesus! My only true ride or die! John 3:16!!

Blessings, as you seek a relationship with Him today! G.


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